Island Dreams

2007-- What a wild ride of a year. I don't think I've ever endured so much (positive) change so quickly and often. I'm lucky, loved and happy.

At this time last year, the adventure was all just in its infancy. I had 3 months left to go on my old job, 3 months in to my 6-month notice. I was excited and scared out of my wits. Those last three months brought me back and forth with a lot of business travel. I was gone pretty much every other week and, when I managed to get some time at home, simultaneously packing up and ridding myself of most of my worldly possessions, with few exceptions, to prepare for smaller apartment living vs. the two bedroom house in which I'd been living.

In March, I left my job of 5 years. Our whole extended team had opted not to move with our jobs to the middle of the country, choosing a nice little layoff package instead. The timing couldn't have been more perfect, as I had felt the finality of the position and was already considering leaving around that time to begin with. This gave me the extra cushion and push to move along that I needed. I'd already been mulling around the idea of this cross-country move for a couple of years. Careful what you put out in the universe and ask for-- it has a way of forcing your hand and calling your bluff.

Musically, many things were also coming to a nicely sewn close, as well, as friends lost steady gigs-- my musical stomping grounds, and several venues in the area were starting to move away from live music altogether. There's been a major shift in the jazz scene out there. Also, shortly after I was to leave the Bay Area, one of my most favorite coaches and teachers was retiring. My musical family was undergoing a great deal of change. It was time. Some of the things I miss most have morphed from what I knew them to be anyway. I do miss that comradery and comfort level, but I think there are always some things in life to miss, regardless of how wonderful life may be otherwise. Plus, it's a good idea to shake things up once in a while for fresh inspiration and fighting anything that may have become stagnant.

Mid-April, the movers arrived to take the whittled down belongings and put them into storage before I hopped on a plane made my trek east. Since then, I haven't felt such a strong sense of home in many years, if ever. Probably the closest to this was when I first moved to San Francisco proper, which I then left over 10 years ago now. That's a long time to not really feel "home".

Although, while the location of my former dwealling itself didn't particularly thrill me, there are several friends who definitely helped foster "home" out west. These people are those I miss actively every day, in addition to the myriad of musical mates. My twin, my sisterchick-- I miss the walk'n'gab sessions and just having her practically around the corner (and, yes, even those damn walking sticks and Hobbit cloak, haha). And my Cha, even though we were a larger drive away and it was difficult to meet up at times, it was comforting to know we *could*. Same with CB and my friend SC with our monthly dinners. And RH and his partner SL-- we finally got to the same town again (and who really just need to realize they need to move to NY already- hehe), and I high tail it out of there :( Also, my sister-in-law who I really enjoyed refostering a relationship over plenty of good Hobee's tea and conversation.

Geographically and spiritually, though, leaving was the best thing for me. It does comfort me to know that some of my friends from the Bay Area will ultimately be closer out here at some point than if I'd stayed in California. Still, I do miss daily life with several of my chosen family. And the fact two of my closest friends in the world both had babies this past year does kill me a bit that I'm not there to take a more active part. For much of this, I truly am there in spirit, even if I don't say so as often as I probably should.

After a month in Brooklyn purgatory, in May, I made my way to the island of Manhattan-- my fantasy island. I was so immediately embraced by old and new friends, a nice little family. It seemed as if the city itself welcomed me, as well. When I was settled in my new apartment and ready to face the world again on a more involved level and felt I had my bearings, I began the more serious hunt for a job. It literally came to me. It was one of the happiest of recruiter calls. Just from the description and very first conversation, I had a good feeling about this one. Nothing prior had really felt quite right. Less than a week later, the ink on the contract was dry, my background check was underway, and I was looking ahead to a new daily routine (after a nice little vacation knowing I'd soon have a steady income beyond unemployment).

A week into my new job, my mother passed away, quite unexpectedly and suddenly. That was tougher than I'd have ever anticipated. I was able to make my peace with it, but it does still hit me once and a while. She would have enjoyed the stories of some of my New York adventures. I did call her after a couple of months of settling in, though, and I'm glad there are certain things I was able to share. It does bring me some comfort that I know she's definitely happier wherever she is now versus when she was still roaming the earth.

For the most part, the year was one of growth, discovery of myself and others, and sheer amazement. I'm home and having the greatest love affair of my life with this island on which I landed at seemingly just the right time. I'm supposed to be here right now. The past year was less musical, as a whole, but that's to come. I had a small taste last night and have the feeling 2008 will bring with it its own muse. And it's been proven that even when I let myself forget that part of my soul, I have plenty around me who give me a gentle kick once and a while back in that direction.